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#581 | | If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. -- Paul Beatty
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#582 | | If an average person on the subway turns to you, like an ancient mariner, and starts telling you her tale, you turn away or nod and hope she stops, not just because you fear she might be crazy. If she tells her tale on camera, you might listen. Watching strangers on television , even responding to them from a studio audience, we're disengaged -- voyeurs collaborating with exhibitionists in rituals of sham community. Never have so many known so much about people for whom they cared so little. -- Wendy Kaminer commenting on testimonial television in "I'm Dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional".
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#583 | | If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse. -- Philip Hale, Boston music critic, 1837
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#584 | | If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?
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#585 | | If God didn't mean for us to juggle, tennis balls wouldn't come three to a can.
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#586 | | If God had intended Man to Watch TV, He would have given him Rabbit Ears.
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#587 | | If I had any humility I would be perfect. -- Ted Turner
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#588 | | If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard. -- Frank Sinatra
AS USUAL, YOUR INFORMATION STINKS. -- Frank Sinatra, telegram to "Time" magazine
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#589 | | If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it. -- Bob Hope
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#590 | | If it ain't baroque, don't phiques it.
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