fortune index all fortunes
| #681 | | Not all who own a harp are harpers. -- Marcus Terentius Varro
| | #682 | | Notes for a ballet, "The Spell": ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman -- unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes. -- Woody Allen
| | #683 | | Oh Dad! We're ALL Devo!
| | #684 | | "Oh sure, this costume may look silly, but it lets me get in and out of dangerous situations -- I work for a federal task force doing a survey on urban crime. Look, here's my ID, and here's a number you can call, that will put you through to our central base in Atlanta. Go ahead, call -- they'll confirm who I am. "Unless, of course, the Astro-Zombies have destroyed it." -- Captain Freedom
| | #685 | | Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!
| | #686 | | Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
| | #687 | | Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
| | #688 | | Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is. -- Jim Starlin, "Captain Marvel #31"
| | #689 | | One big pile is better than two little piles. -- Arlo Guthrie
| | #690 | | Oprah Winfrey has an incredible talent for getting the weirdest people to talk to. And you just HAVE to watch it. "Blind, masochistic minority, crippled, depressed, government latrine diggers, and the women who love them too much on the next Oprah Winfrey."
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