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#701 | | Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone send me the scripts that Faye Dunaway gets? -- Farrah Fawcett-Majors
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#702 | | Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies. -- Zoso
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#703 | | Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
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#704 | | Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen.
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#705 | | Rascal, am I? Take THAT! -- Errol Flynn
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#706 | | Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the bassist is the late Barry Oakley of the Allman Brothers. So Stevie Ray's thinking, "Oh, wow! I've died and gone to rock and roll heaven." Just then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says: "'Close to You'. Hit it, boys!" -- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller
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#707 | | Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille. -- John Hunt, British editor, scholar and art critic Cerf/Navasky, "The Experts Speak"
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#708 | | "Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it." -- Dave Barry
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#709 | | Satire is tragedy plus time. -- Lenny Bruce
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#710 | | Satire is what closes in New Haven.
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