fortune index all fortunes
| #741 | | The best definition of a gentleman is a man who can play the accordion -- but doesn't. -- Tom Crichton
| | #742 | | The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can't just say it's pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: "N'wam k'honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be interested in." So it's not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever. But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled "The Girls of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others, such as the Spectacularly Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked. -- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
| | #743 | | The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough. -- Bill Maher
| | #744 | | The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics. -- H. L. Mencken
| | #745 | | The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense -- Picasso
| | #746 | | The covers of this book are too far apart. -- Book review by Ambrose Bierce.
| | #747 | | The difference between waltzes and disco is mostly one of volume. -- T.K.
| | #748 | | The faster we go, the rounder we get. -- The Grateful Dead
| | #749 | | The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. -- Dorothy Parker
| | #750 | | The Great Movie Posters:
*A Giggle Gurgling Gulp of Glee* With Pretty Girls, Peppy Scenes, and Gorgeous Revues -- plus a good story. -- Tea with a Kick (1924)
Whoopie! Let's go!... Hand-picked Beauties doing cute tricks! GET IN THE KNOW FOR THE HEY-HEY WHOOPIE! -- The Wild Party (1929)
YOU HEAR HIM MAKE LOVE! DIX -- the dashing soldier! DIX -- the bold adventurer! DIX -- the throbbing lover! -- The Wheel of Life (1929)
SEE CHARLES BUTTERWORTH DRIVE A STREETCAR AND SING LOVE SONGS TO HIS MARE "MITZIE"! -- The Night is Young (1934)
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