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#3678Abbott's Admonitions:
(1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
(2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
-- Charles Abbot, dean, University of Virginia
#3679Absent, adj.:
Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
#3680Absentee, n.:
A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove
himself from the sphere of exaction.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
#3681Abstainer, n.:
A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
pleasure.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
#3682Absurdity, n.:
A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
#3683Academy:
A modern school where football is taught.
Institute:
An archaic school where football is not taught.
#3684Acceptance testing:
An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.
#3685Accident, n.:
A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of
body is better.
-- Foolish Dictionary
#3686Accordion, n.:
A bagpipe with pleats.
#3687Accuracy, n.:
The vice of being right
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