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#4128Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension:
In order for something to become clean, something else must
become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting
anything clean.
#4129Immutability, Three Rules of:
(1) If a tarpaulin can flap, it will.
(2) If a small boy can get dirty, he will.
(3) If a teenager can go out, he will.
#4130Impartial, adj.:
Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from
espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two
conflicting opinions.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
#4131inbox, n.:
A catch basin for everything you don't want to deal with, but
are afraid to throw away.
#4132incentive program, n.:
The system of long and short-term rewards that a corporation uses
to motivate its people. Still, despite all the experimentation with
profit sharing, stock options, and the like, the most effective
incentive program to date seems to be "Do a good job and you get to
keep it."
#4133Incumbent, n.:
Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
#4134index, n.:
Alphabetical list of words of no possible interest where an
alphabetical list of subjects with references ought to be.
#4135Infancy, n.:
The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, "Heaven lies
about us." The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
-- Ambrose Bierce
#4136Information Center, n.:
A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to
tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
#4137Information Processing:
What you call data processing when people are so disgusted with
it they won't let it be discussed in their presence.
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