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| #4638 | | Technicality, n.:
In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having
accused a neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt
hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one
side of his head fell on one shoulder and the other side upon the
other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the
court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder,
for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an
inference.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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| #4639 | | Telephone, n.:
An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages
of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
-- Ambrose Bierce
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| #4640 | | telepression, n.:
The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try
hard enough to look up the number on your own and instead put the
burden on the directory assistant.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
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| #4641 | | Teutonic:
Not enough gin.
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| #4642 | | The 357.73 Theory:
Auditors always reject expense accounts
with a bottom line divisible by 5.
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| #4643 | | The Abrams' Principle:
The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.
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| #4644 | | The Ancient Doctrine of Mind Over Matter:
I don't mind... and you don't matter.
-- As revealed to reporter G. Rivera by Swami Havabanana
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| #4645 | | The Beatles:
Paul McCartney's old back-up band.
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| #4646 | | The Briggs-Chase Law of Program Development:
To determine how long it will take to write and debug a
program, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add
one, and convert to the next higher units.
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| #4647 | | The Consultant's Curse:
When the customer has beaten upon you long enough, give him
what he asks for, instead of what he needs. This is very strong
medicine, and is normally only required once.
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