 |
| #5917 | | I have a map of the United States. It's actual size. I spent last summer
folding it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5918 | | I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
-- Richard Diran
|
|
| #5919 | | I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once
in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I
got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5920 | | I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it.
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5921 | | I just got out of the hospital after a speed reading accident.
I hit a bookmark.
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5922 | | I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind!
The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
-- Charles Schulz
|
|
| #5923 | | I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get
there, but I'm going first class.
-- Art Buchwald
|
|
| #5924 | | "I love Saturday morning cartoons, what classic humour! This is what
entertainment is all about ... Idiots, explosives and falling anvils."
-- Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson
|
|
| #5925 | | I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She was looking at
clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators.
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5926 | | I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx
|
|
|
| ... |
