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#9571 | | I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty. -- J.P. Morgan on Teddy Roosevelt's safari
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#9572 | | I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity. -- Bill Veeck
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#9573 | | I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out. -- Judge Harold T. Stone
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#9574 | | I use not only all the brains I have, but all those I can borrow as well. -- Woodrow Wilson
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#9575 | | I used to be a rebel in my youth.
This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by a civil rights case or a passport hearing... I realize it's just a device. I go to my analyst and we work it out. You have no idea how much better I feel these days. -- J. Feiffer
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#9576 | | I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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#9577 | | I was appalled by this story of the destruction of a member of a valued endangered species. It's all very well to celebrate the practicality of pigs by ennobling the porcine sibling who constructed his home out of bricks and mortar. But to wantonly destroy a wolf, even one with an excessive taste for porkers, is unconscionable in these ecologically critical times when both man and his domestic beasts continue to maraud the earth. Sylvia Kamerman, "Book Reviewing"
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#9578 | | I was offered a job as a hoodlum and I turned it down cold. A thief is anybody who gets out and works for his living, like robbing a bank or breaking into a place and stealing stuff, or kidnapping somebody. He really gives some effort to it. A hoodlum is a pretty lousy sort of scum. He works for gangsters and bumps guys off when they have been put on the spot. Why, after I'd made my rep, some of the Chicago Syndicate wanted me to work for them as a hood -- you know, handling a machine gun. They offered me two hundred and fifty dollars a week and all the protection I needed. I was on the lam at the time and not able to work at my regular line. But I wouldn't consider it. "I'm a thief," I said. "I'm no lousy hoodlum." -- Alvin Karpis, "Public Enemy Number One"
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#9579 | | I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber. -- Tiburcio Vasquez
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#9580 | | I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad. -- Jack Handley
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