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| #1021 | | "I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder
have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's
reign. My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat. Better go
buy some more."
-- timw@zeb.USWest.COM
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|
| #1022 | | I am more bored than you could ever possibly be. Go back to work.
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| #1023 | | I attribute my success to intelligence, guts, determination, honesty,
ambition, and having enough money to buy people with those qualities.
|
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| #1024 | | I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
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| #1025 | | I cannot draw a cart, nor eat dried oats; If it be man's work I will do it.
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|
| #1026 | | I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when
it has been used to commit a murder.
-- M. Gallaher
|
|
| #1027 | | I don't do it for the money.
-- Donald Trump, Art of the Deal
|
|
| #1028 | | I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two
highly trained certified public accountants.
-- Elvis Presley
|
|
| #1029 | | I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
immortality through not dying.
-- Woody Allen
|
|
| #1030 | | I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the
accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. For
the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that
can't be measured in monetary terms.
Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to
have that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came
by subway." Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot
should someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly
understand his long delay.
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