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| #1501 | | XXXI:
The optimum committee has no members.
XXXII:
Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means of
turning problems into gold -- your problems into their gold.
XXXIII:
Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread.
XXXIV:
The process of competitively selecting contractors to perform work
is based on a system of rewards and penalties, all distributed
randomly.
XXXV:
The weaker the data available upon which to base one's conclusion,
the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give
the data authenticity.
-- Norman Augustine
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| #1502 | | XXXVI:
The thickness of the proposal required to win a multimillion dollar
contract is about one millimeter per million dollars. If all the
proposals conforming to this standard were piled on top of each other
at the bottom of the Grand Canyon it would probably be a good idea.
XXXVII:
Ninety percent of the time things will turn out worse than you expect.
The other 10 percent of the time you had no right to expect so much.
XXXVIII:
The early bird gets the worm.
The early worm ... gets eaten.
XXXIX:
Never promise to complete any project within six months of the end of
the year -- in either direction.
XL:
Most projects start out slowly -- and then sort of taper off.
-- Norman Augustine
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| #1503 | | Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still
be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
-- Snoopy
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| #1504 | | You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
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| #1505 | | You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right
and the budget is big enough.
-- Joseph E. Levine
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| #1506 | | You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.
-- Norman Douglas
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| #1507 | | You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.
-- Superchicken
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| #1508 | | You know, the difference between this company and the Titanic is that the
Titanic had paying customers.
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| #1509 | | You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you.
I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but
we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.
-- J. Wellington Wells
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| #1510 | | YOU TOO CAN MAKE BIG MONEY IN THE EXCITING FIELD OF PAPER SHUFFLING!
Mr. Smith of Muddle, Mass. says: "Before I took this course I used to be
a lowly bit twiddler. Now with what I learned at MIT Tech I feel really
important and can obfuscate and confuse with the best."
Mr. Watkins had this to say: "Ten short days ago all I could look forward
to was a dead-end job as a engineer. Now I have a promising future and
make really big Zorkmids."
MIT Tech can't promise these fantastic results to everyone, but when
you earn your MDL degree from MIT Tech your future will be brighter.
SEND FOR OUR FREE BROCHURE TODAY!
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