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| #10711 | | Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer?
A: Throw him a rock.
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| #10712 | | Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue-elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with
a blue-elephant gun.
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|
| #10713 | | Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
|
|
| #10714 | | Q: How does a hacker fix a function which
doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A: He changes the domain.
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|
| #10715 | | Q: How does the Polish Constitution differ from the American?
A: Under the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of
speech, but under the United States constitution they are
guaranteed freedom after speech.
-- being told in Poland, 1987
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|
| #10716 | | Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment
of license fee (binary only).
|
|
| #10717 | | Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
|
|
| #10718 | | Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the light bulb and four to share the
experience. (Actually, Californians don't screw in
light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all
those Californians trying to share the experience.
|
|
| #10719 | | Q: How many college football players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he gets three credits for it.
|
|
| #10720 | | Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?
A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
Q: How long does it take?
A: It's indeterminate.
It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.
Q: What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A: They replace your generator.
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