 fortune index all fortunes
| | #1291 | | The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff
in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody but one girl
laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you
got a sense of humor?"
"I don't have to laugh," she said. "I'm leaving Friday anyway.
| | | #1292 | | The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up
in the morning, and does not stop until you get to work.
| | | #1293 | | The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job
application form.
-- Stanley J. Randall
| | | #1294 | | The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.
-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
| | | #1295 | | The cost of feathers has risen, even down is up!
| | | #1296 | | The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
| | | #1297 | | The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
| | | #1298 | | The decision doesn't have to be logical; it was unanimous.
| | | #1299 | | The degree of technical confidence is inversely proportional to the
level of management.
| | | #1300 | | The departing division general manager met a last time with his young
successor and gave him three envelopes. "My predecessor did this for me,
and I'll pass the tradition along to you," he said. "At the first sign
of trouble, open the first envelope. Any further difficulties, open the
second envelope. Then, if problems continue, open the third envelope.
Good luck." The new manager returned to his office and tossed the envelopes
into a drawer.
Six months later, costs soared and earnings plummeted. Shaken, the
young man opened the first envelope, which said, "Blame it all on me."
The next day, he held a press conference and did just that. The
crisis passed.
Six months later, sales dropped precipitously. The beleagured
manager opened the second envelope. It said, "Reorganize."
He held another press conference, announcing that the division
would be restructured. The crisis passed.
A year later, everything went wrong at once and the manager was
blamed for all of it. The harried executive closed his office door, sank
into his chair, and opened the third envelope.
"Prepare three envelopes..." it said.
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