 fortune index all fortunes
| | #1511 | | !07/11 PDP a ni deppart m'I !pleH
| | | #1512 | | 101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR
(1) Scarecrow for centipedes
(2) Dead cat brush
(3) Hair barrettes
(4) Cleats
(5) Self-piercing earrings
(6) Fungus trellis
(7) False eyelashes
(8) Prosthetic dog claws
.
.
.
(99) Window garden harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors)
(100) Killer velcro
(101) Currency
| | | #1513 | | 1: No code table for op: ++post
| | | #1514 | | 4.2 BSD UNIX #57: Sun Jun 1 23:02:07 EDT 1986
You swing at the Sun. You miss. The Sun swings. He hits you with a
575MB disk! You read the 575MB disk. It is written in an alien
tongue and cannot be read by your tired Sun-2 eyes. You throw the
575MB disk at the Sun. You hit! The Sun must repair your eyes. The
Sun reads a scroll. He hits your 130MB disk! He has defeated the
130MB disk! The Sun reads a scroll. He hits your Ethernet board! He
has defeated your Ethernet board! You read a scroll of "postpone until
Monday at 9 AM". Everything goes dark...
-- /etc/motd, cbosgd
| | | #1515 | | A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on
a photo-safari in Africa. As they're driving along the savannah in their
jeep, they stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.
The biologist: "Look! A herd of zebras! And there's a white zebra!
Fantastic! We'll be famous!"
The statistician: "Hey, calm down, it's not significant. We only know
there's one white zebra."
The mathematician: "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is
white on one side."
The computer scientist : "Oh, no! A special case!"
| | | #1516 | | ... A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you
have turned into a pile of dust.
| | | #1517 | | A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.
| | | #1518 | | A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected.
| | | #1519 | | A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who
had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether
various objects had Buddha-nature or not. To such a question Tortue
invariably sat silent. The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake,
and a moonlit night. One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and
asked the same question. In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop
between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex
string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk. At that moment, the monk
was enlightened.
From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue. Instead, he made string after
string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples,
who passed it on to theirs.
| | | #1520 | | A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a
simple system that works.
| | | | ... ... |
art computers cookie definitions education ethnic food fortunes humorists kids law literature love medicine men-women news paradoxum people pets platitudes politics riddles science sports wisdom work |
|
|
| |
 | |  | | You're not logged in! If you don't have an account yet, please register one and get your very own elite (but free) BGA account! |
| |
|  | |  |
| | |
| | |
| |
|
