 fortune index all fortunes
| | #1731 | | Disks travel in packs.
| | | #1732 | | Disraeli was pretty close: actually, there are Lies, Damn lies, Statistics,
Benchmarks, and Delivery dates.
| | | #1733 | | Do not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle and quick to anger.
| | | #1734 | | Do not simplify the design of a program if a way can be found to make
it complex and wonderful.
| | | #1735 | | Do not use the blue keys on this terminal.
| | | #1736 | | Do you guys know what you're doing, or are you just hacking?
| | | #1737 | | *** DO YOU HAVE A RESTLESS URGE TO PROGRAM? ***
Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical
terms that nobody understands? Do you want to strike fear and loathing into
the hearts of DP managers everywhere? If so, then let the Famous Programmers'
School lead you on... into the world of professional computer programming.
*** IS PROGRAMMING FOR YOU? ***
Programming is not for everyone. But, if you have the desire to learn, we can
help you get started. All you need is the Famous Programmers' Course and
enough money to keep those lessons coming month after month.
*** TAKE OUR FREE APTITUDE TEST ***
To help determine if you are qualified to be a programmer, take a moment to
try this simple test:
(1) Write down the numbers from zero to nine and the first six letters
of the alphabet (Hint: 0123456789ABCDEF).
(2) Whose picture is on the back of a twenty-dollar bill?
(3) What is the state capital of Idaho?
If you managed to read all three questions without wondering why we asked
them, you may have a future as a computer programmer.
| | | #1738 | | Do you suffer painful elimination?
-- Don Knuth, "Structured Programming with Gotos"
Do you suffer painful recrimination?
-- Nancy Boxer, "Structured Programming with Come-froms"
Do you suffer painful illumination?
-- Isaac Newton, "Optics"
Do you suffer painful hallucination?
-- Don Juan, cited by Carlos Casteneda
| | | #1739 | | Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and
when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
-- Dick Brandon
| | | #1740 | | Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.
| | | | ... ... |
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