 fortune index all fortunes
| | #1901 | | Ignorance is bliss.
-- Thomas Gray
Fortune updates the great quotes, #42:
BLISS is ignorance.
| | | #1902 | | Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual
way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of
complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin
| | | #1903 | | Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer. It has
a 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk
storage, a screen resolution of 4096 x 4096 pixels, relies entirely on
voice recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket and costs $300.
What's the first question that the computer community asks?
"Is it PC compatible?"
| | | #1904 | | **** IMPORTANT **** ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ****
Due to a recent systems overload error your recent disk files have been
erased. Therefore, in accordance with the UNIX Basic Manual, University of
Washington Geophysics Manual, and Bylaw 9(c), Section XII of the Revised
Federal Communications Act, you are being granted Temporary Disk Space,
valid for three months from this date, subject to the restrictions set forth
in Appendix II of the Federal Communications Handbook (18th edition) as well
as the references mentioned herein. You may apply for more disk space at any
time. Disk usage in or above the eighth percentile will secure the removal
of all restrictions and you will immediately receive your permanent disk
space. Disk usage in the sixth or seventh percentile will not effect the
validity of your temporary disk space, though its expiration date may be
extended for a period of up to three months. A score in the fifth percentile
or below will result in the withdrawal of your Temporary Disk space.
| | | #1905 | | In a display of perverse brilliance, Carl the repairman mistakes a room
humidifier for a mid-range computer but manages to tie it into the network
anyway.
-- The 5th Wave
| | | #1906 | | In a five year period we can get one superb programming language. Only
we can't control when the five year period will begin.
| | | #1907 | | In a surprise raid last night, federal agents ransacked a house in search
of a rebel computer hacker. However, they were unable to complete the arrest
because the warrant was made out in the name of Don Provan, while the only
person in the house was named don provan. Proving, once again, that Unix is
superior to Tops10.
| | | #1908 | | In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from handbooks)
are to be treated as variables.
| | | #1909 | | In any problem, if you find yourself doing an infinite amount of work,
the answer may be obtained by inspection.
| | | #1910 | | In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
| | | | ... ... |
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