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#3061 | | A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks. -- Lew Col
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#3062 | | Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to execute a job? A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
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#3063 | | Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
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#3064 | | Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.
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#3065 | | Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool mom.
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#3066 | | "Because he's a character who's looking for his own identity, [He-Man is] an interesting role for an actor." -- Dolph Lundgren, "actor"
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#3067 | | "If Jesus came back today, and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up." -- Max Von Sydow's character in "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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#3068 | | "Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God -- I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again." -- Woody Allen's character in "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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#3069 | | "In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that "If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago." -- Dennis Miller, SNL News
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#3070 | | "Only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core." -- Hannah Arendt.
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