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#3981 | | Fifth Law of Applied Terror: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
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#3982 | | Fifth Law of Procrastination: Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do.
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#3983 | | File cabinet: A four drawer, manually activated trash compactor.
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#3984 | | filibuster, n.: Throwing your wait around.
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#3985 | | Finagle's Creed: Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.
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#3986 | | Finagle's Eighth Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Finagle's Ninth Law: No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it.
Finagle's Tenth Law: No matter what the result someone is always eager to misinterpret it.
Finagle's Eleventh Law: No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory.
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#3987 | | Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
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#3988 | | Finagle's First Law: To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
Finagle's Second Law: Always keep a record of data -- it indicates you've been working.
Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
Finagle's Fifth Law: Always draw your curves, then plot your readings.
Finagle's Sixth Law: Don't believe in miracles -- rely on them.
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#3989 | | Finagle's Second Law: No matter what the anticipated result, there will always be someone eager to (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or (c) believe it happened according to his own pet theory.
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#3990 | | Finagle's Seventh Law: The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.
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